Thursday, March 17, 2005

Television Trust

I don't have a television. That's a true statement.

Trouble is that the TV Licensing authority will not take my word for that. They want to come to my house, go into every room, to make sure that there is not a television receiver hidden away in a dark recess, that I can pull out on dark nights.

Is my word no longer my bond? There was a time when an Englishman's word was accepted without question, nothing more was required.

That said our ex-Home Secretary, the cuckold forced to resign for helping an immigrant speed her application for residency, is now suggesting that we should all be proud to be English. Whilst accepting his arguments, I'm not convinced he is the right man for such a job. I'm still old-fashioned enough to believe there are enough potential sexual partners in this world for it not to be necessary to steal away with a married woman.

Whatever of sexual morays is it no longer possible to check that I'm not operating a television using a gizmo that is outside my house? Why should a poorly-paid clod-hopper be allowed to force their way into my house - my castle even - and tramp through every room?

I tell the world again - I do not have a television. Believe me.

No doubt an insistent character will now appear on my doorstep intent upon breaking my resolve. Turned away they will return armed with an order from the court. I shall protest, perhaps refuse entry. They will force down my door, danmage my property, intrude upon my privacy, to see that I've not yet made the bed, and the washing-up remains, that my home is littered with books, paper, a computer or two, an unfinished bathroom and who knows what other embarrassments.

They will NOT find a television. Believe me. I am an Englishman.

3 Comments:

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